Near Death Experience

Somehow I feel cheated ... I’ve been thinking back to my recent operation and, where I had anticipated such a lekker sleep after the anaesthetic, all I got was nausea... Lots ‘n lots of nausea. And pain that wasn’t controlled properly for the first 24 hours... Oh, ja, there was lots of that too.

That isn’t right... If one has to have an op, the least those medical types can do is ensure that you have a GOOD anaesthetic experience that allows you to sleep blissfully afterwards and... KILL THE PAIN people...

I have also been wondering what weird questions or statements I may have come out with when I was being ‘resuscitated’ after the op... Fortunately there’s no one who can tell me. I can remember, with a previous operation, as I came around I could hear kids crying. I didn’t know at the time that the poor little blighters had just been subjected to tonsillectomies. All I was aware of was the fact that I had just had knee surgery and, even though it was &*(#$%@ sore, all I wanted to do was sleep. You know, that lekker anaesthetic sleep that the anaesthetist for that op at least got right...

Anyway, at the top of my lungs I told anyone who would listen to ‘tell those kids to SHUT UP!’ Not once, but numerous times. I’m surprised they never gagged me to shut me up.

Did you know that ‘they’ say you are technically dead when you have a general anaesthetic? Yup, technically dead. It’s no wonder we talk such crap when we come around. I think the brain and the mouth need a while to reconnect... Strange though, if we are technically dead under anaesthetic why is it that I have never had a near-death experience? I’ve had numerous operations but not even one near-death experience. My dad, who was basically an atheist his entire life, had a near-death experience during an operation when he was in his fifties. If there is no after-life someone should explain to me why, after that experience, my dad went from being a total atheist to someone who walked with God every day for the next twenty or so years of his life.

When my dad told us about his near-death experience (he was shocked back to life after dying during the operation) we never thought he was being weird. He was totally sincere. Somehow it wasn’t strange to hear him say, inter alia, that he had seen a ‘being of light’ who told him: “Don’t be afraid. I am with you.”

Far weirder are some of the things I know that other people have said when they came around after general anaesthetic:
“Give me my panties...”
“Give me my teeth...”
“Let work know that I’m alive...”
“That doctor has the sexiest smile...”

Man, we can talk crap when our defences are down, can’t we? Sometimes we can talk crap when they’re up too...

There are a lot of truths in this posting, but if you only pick up on one bit of truth in it, let it be the fact that my dad genuinely had a near-death experience that changed not only his life, but ours as a family too...

Ciao for now.


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